Although I will never claim to be a natural hair guru, I have been stopped more than once on the street to give another naturalista on the rise a hair tip or two. Whether you’re still on the fence about committing to the lifestyle, just big chopped, or have been natural for years, I hope my journey will encourage you as you navigate your own. In the coming weeks, you’ll get to hear from some of my Curlfriends about their natural hair journeys too.
The Basics
My hair is more 3C now that I’ve switched up my hair care routine. My curls are becoming more defined but when I do a wash and go and let my hair air dry, I’m more of a 4A.
Technically I have been going natural for seven years. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I got what would be my final relaxer the day before I left for college. As a result of there not being any adequate black hair salons in my college town to help maintain and me refusing to attempt a relaxer on my own hair, I just started growing it out. Like many girls who grew up on the creamy crack, my hair was very weak, very thin, and just unhealthy. I had very long hair through most of middle school and by the time I got to college, it was short and barely past my earlobes.
Within a month of being on campus, I became inspired by the many women of color who were rocking their natural hair and it made me realize I could do it too. I continued to grow out my relaxer and about two and half years later, I was fully natural.
The Lifestyle:
So how do I maintain my hair? Typically Sunday is my wash day. Although I have always been a fan of co-washing, recently I’ve abandoned shampoo entirely. I find that most conditioners can get the job done with clarifying my hair and stripping it down. I use SheaMoisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner to wash. The only time I truly shampoo my hair is if I’ve been outside and exposed my hair to harsh natural elements for a while. Since I stopped using shampoo, my curls have become more defined and my hair is growing much faster. I don’t deep condition as much as I should, but when I do, I typically use Palmers Olive Oil Deep Conditioner in addition to co-washing my hair.
My secret to maintaining shine, moisture and getting the perfect twist out for a week? GREASE! My hair loves it. I can hear the collective screams and shrills from all around but I absolutely love it. I use a product called Liv. It’s in a white tub with red letters. It makes my twist outs hold for much longer and makes my hair much lower maintenance from day to day (if low maintenance is a thing for natural hair). The Dominican hair salon I grew up going to used it on my hair and now I can’t survive without it.
Wrap it Up
I have a beautiful collection of silk scarves that never see the light of day. They’re strictly for my hair while I’m getting my beauty rest. I would never shame another Naturalista about their hair care routine, but if you don’t have a silk cap for sleeping by now, I’m judging you.
For a great protective style, I’m all about crochet braids. Part of the reason why my hair growth stalled for a few years was because in the winter months I would start applying heat almost weekly and undo all the work I did in the summer months. Now, I just rotate getting crochet braids every few weeks from October to March. When I take my hair down it’s silky smooth and feels brand new.
I’ve also been known to rock a wig or two. I’m a fan of obnoxiously fake colors and have been known to go incognito and walk right past coworkers in public. I may be biased, but I’ve yet to find an over the top, full-bodied, lace front wig I don’t like on the Fulton Mall strip in NYC.
Just a Regular Degular Schmegular Girl
I used to obsess over what YouTubers and IG stars were doing. I followed one in particular who literally had hair down to her butt crack and I would get frustrated that my hair wasn’t getting that long. Then I did some research and realized we didn’t have the same hair type, ethnic background, or starting point — she had never had relaxed hair– so to compare myself to her was pointless.
The best piece of advice I’ve heard, and I hope its something anyone who reads this takes away: Not everyone’s natural hair journey is the same. It took me a long time to be happy with my own natural hair because I was constantly comparing myself to everyone else. The most enjoyable part about your natural hair journey is that it’s yours.
As for the worst piece of advice? I have been told, especially in college, to save money and make your own hair products. False. Have you ever had to pull cooked egg out of your hair because the hot water and steam started to poach it? How about having so much mayo in your hair that your head stank like a fart for a week? Save your coins and go to the store, there are incredible quality products out there for your consumption. Leave the DIY to the YouTubers who are getting enough coins to buy a nice weave to cover up whatever hot mess they got themselves into.
It’s all about you.
I wear my hair natural year round. Whether it’s in braids, air dried and slicked back into a bun, or out loud big and curly, it’s authentically mine. For years I was — and sometimes still am — self-conscious of how my hair can impact my opportunities in the workplace. I can say unequivocally, it has done nothing but enhance it. My hair speaks for me. It is part of my personality, it is part of my identity.
Anyone who wouldn’t want to hire me as a result, I wouldn’t want to work for in the first place. I interviewed for the job I have now with 18-inch crochet braids. The week after they hired me, I started rocking my curly fro. I get the occasional comment or question about my hair, but I’ve never had anyone say anything negative or complain about my hair.
Next week, hear from some of my Curlfriends about their natural journeys. In the meantime, get to working and owning your hair!
[…] hurts the most was that for many years, I had done so well at sidestepping and avoiding in-depth convos about my hair. For many years, I felt like my colleagues understood it was rude to ask to touch my hair. But I […]
When people ask me about my hair journey I tell them to take what I am saying with a grain of salt because I only do what is best for my hair. It definitely a labor of love. But I love natural hair and the versatiliy of it. Great post!
I’ve been natural for 6 years now & I’m still not completely comfortable with my hair yet. I love my hair but it just don’t act right lol. I was used to relaxers & heat which was easy bc I didn’t have to do much but I need patience with theses curls.
These are good tips. My hair loves grease too! I use Tropical Isle castor oil hair grease. It’s from a black-owned business and supporting BOBs is important to me, given there are sooo many in the hair care industry to choose from.
Love this post! I’ve always admired your curls and the volume your hair seems to have (I’ve only seen pics). I can definitely relate to how important it is to have curlfriends though. I transitioned for a year before going “full-fledged” natural and I’ve never been happier. My curls are always popping and I get so much love from other ladies with hair like mine. It has been amazing!
I read this for a second time and started to reflect and appreciate how it is easier now to wear natural hair, unlike when I was in college. It gave me flashbacks. There are tons of products on the market, it is more widely accepted, and there are legal protections in some places to just be ourselves.
That’s pretty much how I started my natural hair journey. I’m a travel nurse and had many difficulties finding a stylist that provided healthy relaxer care. Which is an issue that needs to be resolved. I’m maybe a couple of years into the journey and I enjoy learning new things about my hair.
Although you didn’t do it I’m going to say you’re a guru. Your hair is always so cute. Thanks for the tips and tricks.
You have navigated your natural hair journey well. It looks great! Also, I had never heard the term “creamy crack.” I won’t forget it though.
I wish I had saw this 2 months ago before I went back to the other side lol
[…] I shared my natural hair journey. My Curlfriends Danielle, Deja, Devon, and Tiylaa all shared their stories over the past few weeks […]
Your hair is so lovely! You have so many creative options for styling it! I love the scarf idea!
Protective styles are such a lifesaver! Your hair is gorgeous girl 🙂
I just decided to go natural last November and I’m going to do the big chop this coming November. Thanks for sharing your natural hair journey and experiences!
This was great! I thought I was the only natural still using grease LOL. I’ve been natural for 11 years now and I’m STILL learning about my hair.
Your hair is absolutely gorgeous!
Your hair is gorgeous! Curly hair can be a struggle but when it looks that good, it’s worth it 🙂
You’re hair looks amazing!
Girl, your hair looks amazing!
Your hair looks awesome! I wish mine was better at holding curls!
I absolutely love your hair and how you styled it with a scarf. My hair barely holds a curl haha.
What a fun blog post! Your hair is gorgeous!
This was so interesting to read! I have stick straight Asian hair that’s extremely fine with no volume. I’m glad you found a way to take care of your hair and you’ve inspired me to be better to my hair as well!
I love how real this post is! I have been natural for about 5 years now and definitely tried to follow the hype when beginning. After that, I just broke many of the so called “Natural Hair Rules” and even made a blog post on it cause like you said not everyone’s hair journey is the same. I love my natural curls so much even though shrinkage is super real for me but I love rocking my natural hair! Also, I was hesitant about wearing my natural hair out in the workplace but it’s an eye-catcher and conversation starter lol especially when you come back with different styles every other day. Kill em with diversity!
Your hair is beautiful! I love the way a simple scarf can really jazz up everyday hair (or help hide a rough hair day! :))
Hannah
I transitioned to natural, but I’ve been thinking lately about doing a big chop and starting over. I can relate to comparing my hair journey to youtubers and ppl on IG, and I had to stop doing that. This natural hair journey isn’t easy, but for me, it was the best decision I’ve made.
OMG! I love love love your hair! Wish I had curls like yours. But I think the most important part (as you also said in your post) is to embrace our own natural beauty and let it speak for us. Been trying to do that lately. No hair colouring, even though I started having one or two white hairs haha.
Gorgeous hair!
I can relate, my hair is natural. I have been like this for I year now. Thanks a great deal for letting me in on your secret for washing your hair- washing with conditional and not shampoo.
Your hair is gorg! LOVE!
I always do the big chop and do a tapered cut. It’s literally what I have now I love my natural curls, but it seems like this time around they’ve become more defined that ever!
This was such an enjoyble read, I have been natraul for a very long time About 15 years I did perm my hair in my teenage years but I do not feel my hair has ever come back to what it was before the perm. I have seen many blogs and vlogs but they have never inspired me to try working on restoring my hair like you just have so thank you! Look forward to more fun posts
I loved this post!!! There was so much I could relate to! I too have had to pick out cooked egg from my hair ??? I don’t know why I didn’t realize that was a bad idea but YouTube made it seem like a good idea! I have been natural for several years but I recently realized that my journey is going to be different then the next person and what works for them may not work for me especially when it comes to products. There are so many people telling us not to use certain products and blah blah blah but if my hair loves it and it doesn’t have a bunch of crap I ingredients I’m going to have to roll with it. Great job!
Coming from parents who both have naturally loose curls, I grew up hating hair with texture. I eveually went natural after my hair became so weak it would snap at the touch. After all these years, I’ve finally learned to love my hair but I can confidently say that I still don’t know what I’m doing lol. I’m glad to hear you found something that works. You’ve inspired me to try to job search with my natural hair on display.
I have been natural for quite a while too. I initially shaved my head, just to get a fresh start. But, I immediately started wearing wigs. I didn’t start wearing my natural hair out until about a year or so ago and I’m loving my hair. I really enjoyed reading your story!