I am not okay. I am grumpy. I am angry. I am sad. I am frustrated. I have cried more than once. No, I’m not PMSing, I’m just in a funk.
I’ve been this way for about two weeks now. Each and every day has been filled with some new stress or some new challenge I didn’t plan on facing. There was a 96 hour period where I only got 19 hours of sleep. One morning I woke up to find my car had been towed and I had to spend over $200 to get it back. I could go on but I won’t.
This isn’t a rant, I promise. I’ve ranted to myself and to others. Several times. I’ve reached out to people I know care about me and they really haven’t done anything to make me feel better. This funk is a beast of my own creation. Also, maybe this is the cynic in me, but people don’t care about your feelings. Most will care about you in a “I don’t like seeing you unhappy” sort of way. But more likely than not, they won’t do anything to understand why you’re upset and the majority of people won’t go out of their way to make you feel better.
Usually I’m one who tends to try to work through my problems in positive and constructive ways. I practice mindfulness as much as possible. One thing I always keep at the forefront of my mind when I get in a funk is that eventually, I will be in a better place. But right now, I’m not okay and that’s okay.
Being in a funk sucks. There’s a ton of cliché quotes you can use to cheer yourself up. But I don’t feel like looking on the bright side. This is especially hard to do when it’s still snowing and 30 degrees in April. There is no silver lining. There is no lesson to learn. Sometimes the going get’s tough and you can get going, but you know what else you can do? You can take a nap. Cry. Eat your favorite ice cream. Blow off some work and binge watch a show instead. If you can afford it, call out sick from work. Take a mental break before you really break down.
It seems like nowadays there’s such an emphasis placed on being happy, positive, and enthusiastic all the time. Sometimes crying is just as good as laughter and anger feels just as good as joy. If you’re not honest with yourself about all of your emotions both positive and negative, you’ll always float in a grey area of emotional ambiguity and that’s definitely not healthy. Being a young woman of color in predominantly white spaces only adds to this emotional discontent. It can be difficult to find peers and allies and even then you have to be careful not to dump your all of your emotions on them.
As for me, I feel like I’m at the tail end of this tail spin. The last time I was feeling this emotionally drained, my life was completely different just a few weeks later and I didn’t see it coming. I had a new job, a new car, a new apartment, and took a tropical vacation all within a few short weeks. My life had changed for the better in all the right ways. I don’t know what’s in store for me from here on out but I can say, #ClicheQuoteAlert… it can only get better from here.
[…] gone above and beyond in helping people with the best of intentions and still have been met with anger and resentment. That’s okay, I have come to understand that sometimes hurt people, hurt […]
Its okay to let it all out! Thanks for reminding us that even when we are strong its okay to not be okay
Ugh! I feel you girl. I’ve been in the same funk this week. Although for me it’s definitely a mix of hormones and stress due to the crazy end of the semester. I hope this week starts off on the right foot for you and you make it out of your funk! Hang in there!
Kayla | kaylablogs.com
Needed this reminder! Thank you for this!
as someone who used to suppress their feelings, this means so much! I couldn’t agree more w/ the importance of understanding your happiness, sadness & anger and how to deal w/ yourself in those moments. great post, gf! x, nicole // http://www.nicoleeigh.com
My husband is a therapist and is always saying it’s ok to not be ok! Sometimes you need to cry and be in a funk to work things out!
I know what you mean. These pasts days have been hard for me, and after such a good month it caught me off guard. And like you said, there’s an emphasis placed on being happy and positive. Forgetting is okay to feel down. It’s part of life and we have to let those feeling in.
One of the most therapeutic things you can do is just be upset and have a good cry! Absolutely nothing wrong with that! xo Rach | http://www.rkcsouthern.com
Thank you for being so open and real. I have to remind myself of this often – sometimes I feel guilty when i’m not ok and take a break. I’m glad you’re feeling better 🙂
You’ve got this, girl.
Carly | http://www.thecarlycollective.com
Thanks for sharing this! I heard the app Headspace is the best so I think I’ll give it a try.
Yes, you’ve got this, hang in there!!!
Mindfulness can be soooo helpful! I enjoy Headspace and Stop, THink, Breath app (they have a free version). Thanks so much for sharing your journey and inspiring others!!!!
yes I love Headspace!
I totally understand where the title is coming from. Sometimes, nothing is going to make me feel better about the things going on in my life so the best thing to do is to just accept that your situation sucks and hopefully it’ll pass soon.
I’m sorry that things are tough now. I’m glad to hear you’re at the tail end of it though!
You are so right- it will only get better. I’ve been in a funk before a few months ago and it was not pleasant. Hoping things turn around soon for you!-Nicholle
http://www.nichollesophia.com
haha this reminds me of a post I wrote a while ago on what to do when you don’t want to do anything. i felt exactlyyyy like this when I wrote it! sending you all the positive vibes <3
I really do hope for you that this is the tail end and that things change and get better soon! Wishing you lots of strength and love.
I LOVE THIS. Sometimes you really just have to admit it and let it get out of your system instead of trying to sugar coat it and make yourself feel better by a snap of the finger. Love this!
Exactly!
I totally understand where you’re coming from although it feels like I’ve been in my funk for over a year. It’s hard to pull yourself out.
So sorry it’s been a rough time for you! Hang in there, take it one day at a time and make sure you’re getting enough rest! I had a rough year last year with being in a bad job situation, and I swear I slept more than I ever have during those months!
xoxo A
sometimes sleeping the frustration away is great!
YASSSSSS GIRL! Sometimes you just have to embrace your feelings and not try so hard to just ‘be okay.’ If you hold it all in, it won’t be good for ANYONE! Love this message so much!
Another gret piece is to talk to others when the feelings become too much!
This is such a great reminder. While it’s great to look on the bright side, sometimes it’s most important just to recognize that it’s okay to not be okay.
It’s all about balance!