I Live in New York Now

A quick clarifying statement. I have always lived in New York. I am the product of a Buffalo born father and Brooklyn bred mother. I was raised in Rochester, excuse me, “Raaaah-chester“, moved to the Southern Tier during my college years, and began my adulting phase in Central New York. I’ve spent extended periods of time in the North Country and the Hudson Valley regions. All of this to say, I’m arguably one of the most New York, New Yorkers I know.

But, to anyone not from New York State, saying you live in “New York” typically gets a reaction of, “Oh, I love the city!”. Over time I’ve just stopped correcting people, as explaining that I’m not from New York City elicits confusion and disinterest. It irritates me to no end that the archipelago off the Atlantic takes the title credit for an entire state. 

So to all you non-New Yorkers, I live in New York now. To those who know better, I’ve moved to New York City. For those in New York City, yes, I live in “the City” also known as Manhattan. True city folk don’t call it Manhattan, it’s just, “the city”.

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ICYMI: I live in New York City now. The subway is my car now. I order food from Seamless routinely now. I have forgotten what clean fresh air and silence feel like now. The transformation is complete. New York City is my home now. • #shayshaytries #shareblackstories #amplifyblackvoices • • For more about my latest adventures head to the blog. #LinkInBio • • • #BlackGirlsBlogToo #blackbloggers #blackgirlswhoblog #blackbloggersunited #blackgirlsblog #browngirlssocial #Latinablogger #millenialblogger #millenialswhoblog #lifestyleblogger #blogger #blogginggals #NYBlogger #nycbloggersclub #blognyc

A post shared by ShayShayTries (@shayshaythegr8) on Aug 28, 2019 at 11:56am PDT

For the first quarter-century of my life, I repped hard for upstate New York but as is the case with most Millennials, I fled the vapid wasteland of my hometown and community for something more exciting in the “big city”. This wasn’t so much of a choice as it was a product of my life’s decisions over the past year. I spent the last 12 months applying to graduate schools and it just so happened that nearly every program I applied to was in a major metropolitan city: Chicago, Boston, SoCal, Philly, NYC. So, it was inevitable that I would end up living amongst the millions eventually.

Now that I’m here as a permanent resident, living day in and day out as a New Yorker, it has been a constant sensory overload experience. The sights, the sounds, THE SMELLS. Everything is new but still somewhat familiar. Each day presents a new challenge, event, and opportunity.

One of the biggest phenomena I’ve observed being in the city, specifically navigating traditionally minority spaces like Harlem and Brooklyn is the normalcy of my identity. Let me be more clear, living in New York City I have never been more comfortable being my very black, very proud self. Growing up, I was always one of a few people of color. At school, in my neighborhood, even in college, and especially at work, I occupied predominantly white spaces. But now, I’m one of many and I love it!

For once in my life, I am seen by both sides of my Afro Latina identity. When I walk into a Spanish restaurant, I am greeted with “Hola que quieres mami?” I respond, albeit with my slightly white-ish sounding Spanish, but there’s never a question of Is she Hispanic?. It’s assumed without hesitation and it’s wonderful. When I occupy black spaces, there’s never an assumption that because I am light-skinned, I must be mixed (with white). My hair, my nose, my toes are undeniably black but for most of my life, people have always tried to legitimize why I look the way I do. They assume there must be some white man or woman who is the root source of my aesthetic. In the city, white people aren’t part of the conversation. I am who I am because of the black and brown people who made me.

This is an unexpected but welcome surprise. I am not ignorant to the diversity that exists in NYC but I also couldn’t articulate just what this diversity meant to me until I moved here. So to live this life, in this skin, without fear or insecurity is an incredibly freeing feeling. I’ve talked to friends and family about this and they agree. The running joke is that I look like everyone’s cousin. Shortly after moving into my apartment my landlord (who is a black woman because… #SupportBlackBusiness) told me I looked like her niece and that’s why she felt comfortable with me almost immediately after we met. My aesthetic creates both clarity and ambiguity. The blacks see black, the Hispanics see Hispanic. They’re both right. I have never felt more perfectly average and I love it.

Perhaps this realization isn’t as revolutionary to those of you who come from a more diverse city, and perhaps the normalcy of being one of many isn’t something you are even consciously aware of. But for me, even in the short time I have been here, it has been a warm and refreshing new normal. To not be looked and followed when I walk into a store for fear of shoplifting, to have my questions understood and respected, to have my voice heard and echoed, to enter a space and be me without fear of judgment.

The invisible burden placed on me for being me, a multi-ethnic, Afro Latina Woman is slowly dissipating away. Now, it won’t be gone entirely, I am attending Columbia University so I’m sure that Ivy League sting will hit eventually. But, the fact still remains, when you look like one of many, the responsibility of having to represent us all is gone.

There have been many changes over the past month I’ve been living in New York City but this one is the most salient by far. I can’t wait to see what else these next few years bring.