Thanksgiving is the start of the Holiday Season. The first gathering of friends and family. A time for all to come together and reminisce on stories of the past, share family legends and traditions, gossip about family not in attendance, and eat copious amounts of food cooked with love.
But we are in trying times now. The divisiveness of this country spreads to the holiday meal table and what once were innocent bouts of questions concerning relationship status and job prospects, now escalates into heated and often ill-informed debates on election security, the gay agenda (it’s glitter, they want to cover the world in glitter), immigrants stealing jobs, and how American democracy as we know it is crumbling.
There are many questions that can trigger a fight, cause people to storm off in anger, or reveal family secrets never meant to be uncovered.
But there’s one question, particularly in the black community that trumps (pun intended) all problematic holiday questions and can turn an innocent day into a riot.
“Ya’ll wanna play spades?”
This question singlehandedly can sever family ties to a point of irreparable repair.
Don’t believe it? Try it this year and see what happens.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Ask your black friend.
Totally know what I’m talking about and feel triggered? Sorry, not sorry.
The tradition of playing Spades is one that has caused strife and grief amongst black families for generations and I’m sure it will for years to come.
But what bothers me the most about this very fundamental question, is not the question itself, but the implication of it. The notion that everyone in the room knows how to play spades and if you don’t, it’s some sort of blemish on your credibility as a black person. Responding with “I don’t know how to play Spades” is like instant revocation of your black card in some households. Allow me to elaborate.
My dad talking to no one, in particular, asked, “Ya’ll wanna play Spades?” Both my brother and I simultaneously turned and said, “we don’t know how to play”. Now at this point, the conversation shifts. For any other process in life, when someone asks if people want to participate in an activity, and not everyone is familiar with it, there’s usually an offer to teach said persons how to do said task.
BUT, when it comes to Spades, WHY DOES NO ONE EVER WANT TO TEACH YOU?
Instantly, we were bombarded with, “What???” “How do ya’ll not know how to play Spades?” and my personal favorite, “I thought for sure that’s something ya’ll’ve learned in college”. First of all, and maybe I’m speaking for an entire generation, but again NO ONE EVER TEACHES US HOW TO PLAY SO HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO LEARN?
ELDER BLACK FOLK. IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO PLAY SPADES WITH AT HOLIDAY FUNCTIONS, YOU. NEED. TO. TEACH. US. HOW. TO. PLAY.
Unlike the ability to dance, make slamming mac and cheese, or have a large derriere, the knowledge of how to play Spades is not an inherited trait in the black community.
Getting upset with younger generations for their inability to understand how to play a game that ya’ll refuse to teach will always yield the same result.
I do not know how to play Spades I finally downloaded an app to learn how to play spades but still don’t’ fully get it. At this point in my life, I’m not interested in learning. I have asked several times on several occasions, outside of the holiday season to learn from folks who do know-how and have been met with blank stares and refusal.
Now I know you’re probably wondering, “Why don’t you just Google it? Just keep practicing on the app!” I don’t want to. More importantly, why? I know how to play a bunch of other classic games. Monopoly, Uno, Phase Ten, Sequence, Life, Chutes and Ladders, Checkers. Want to play any of those games? I’m your girl. But Spades? Count me out.
Finally, I ask again why? Why play Spades? It never ends well. I am super competitive and hate losing. The last time I lost in Monopoly I flipped the board over. Why would I subject myself to fighting with drunken family and friends over a game? I’m all for holiday spirit and cheer but I’m also not trying to catch a case because someone played a Spade (I’m assuming this is part of the goal of the game, I honestly have no clue).
This season, save everyone stress and strife, pick a different game, and end this Spade’s epidemic once and for all.
