I still can’t make it through Mac Miller’s, Swimming, without shedding a few tears. Ironically enough, I also haven’t made it through Ariana Grande’s latest songs, breathin’ or get well soon without getting in my feelings.
Though the two celebs have now become infamously and inextricably linked, the reason for my emotion isn’t connected to their now tragic story, but rather their vulnerabilities in using their art to talk about their struggles with mental health and anxiety.
Look at the lyrics to get well soon for example:
They say my system is overloaded
(Girl, what’s wrong with you? Come back down)
I’m too much in my head, did you notice?
My body’s here on Earth, but I’m floating
Disconnected, so sometimes, I feel frozen and alone—
This is for everybody
Babe, you gotta take care of your body
Ain’t no time to deny it, that is why we talking about it
Yeah, we talking about it
To deal with it, don’t try to get by it
Ain’t no time to deny it—
Want you to get better
My life is so controlled by the what-ifs
Is there anybody else whose mind does this, mmm?
(Girl, what’s wrong with you? Come back down)
Down, down, down, down
Is there such a ladder to get above this?
Maybe I should ground myself where the mud is
Before I’m gone
When asked about her inspiration for the song she was pretty clear:
isss ab my anxiety. i felt like i was floating for like 3 months last year & not in a nice way. like i outside my body? was v scary and i couldn’t breathe well. so it’s ab that. & lots of voices in my head singin. i hope it comforts ppl who hear it pls ☁️
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) May 29, 2018
The first time I heard the song, I didn’t really pay attention to the lyrics, I was more enthralled by the beautiful harmonic overlays Ariana was singing. But the second time I listened, I had to stop. The lyrics hit me right in the gut. They made my heart pinch. I had been feeling so overwhelmed and to hear someone vocalize those same emotions, it was a much-needed release.
Mac Miller’s album Swimming is therapeutic in similar ways. From start to finish it’s a breakdown of everything life threw at him over the past year. He goes into poignant detail and introspective understanding of the pain he suffers, the pain he’s caused, and the growth he’s found.
I get teary-eyed everytime the album plays because although I’ve never struggled with drug addiction, those feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and fear plague everyone. Rich, poor, black, white, man, or woman.
More recently, Cardi B. canceled an appearance and skipped town for warmer skies. Her IG history points to her being somewhere on a palm tree laden island and there’s speculation she went to the D.R. But regardless of where she went, one thing was clear, she needed to get out and get away.
Rumors are flying as to why she disappeared (some say she got her boobs done, others say it was her butt) but honestly who cares? She addressed some rumors and let others float but according to IG live, her husband Offset took her phone and banned her from using it for a good 72 hours. And who can blame him? When you watch her endless feud with Nicki Minaj, the constant criticism and scrutiny she faces, the postpartum she’s vocalized having to deal with, anyone up against that much pressure might snap. A getaway is necessary.
In the case of Arianna, Mac, Cardi B. and countless other twenty, thirty, and forty-somethings, celebrities are becoming more open and honest about their struggles with anxiety and mental health. I’m especially proud of the strides the black community has made this past year. Michelle Williams opened up about her struggles with depression and Charlamagne tha God recently released his second book called, Shook One, Anxiety Playing Tricks on Me. Being honest about mental health is not only healthy, but it’s also trendy.
For me, self-care is at the center of it all. I have been going, going, going since September. I knew this stretch of the year would be tough but honestly, it kicked my ass. I’ve had panic attacks, I’ve stayed in bed for stretches longer than I’d like to admit, and I’ve just straight up avoided doing things I know I should do. But I’m finally starting to see the end of it all.
This past weekend I came home from a long week at work and took a nap at 6 o’clock. I woke up for about 2 hours then went right back to bed. Instead of pregaming for a night out with friends, I pre-gamed for sleep. I also avoided social media as much as I could manage. Endlessly scrolling, checking out the latest batch of depressing news, or seeing what everyone else is doing causing me guilt and unnecessary criticism.
The final step in my self-care is avoiding people. This is a double-edged sword because when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I also tend to shut down and avoid people. But in this case, being alone with my thoughts was the best option. I recharge by being alone and to have the luxury of sitting in my apartment for hours on end with nothing to do, no pressure to cross things off a list, no sense of urgency, my goodness is it an incredible feeling.
I think this break came at the right time. We are all heading into the holiday season, a time where we are expected to be cheerful, gleeful, and filled with joy. There’s no way I’d be able to enjoy endless mounds of dressing and turkey, or sing Christmas songs while drinking spiced wine if I was still carrying the weight of the stresses of the world on my back.
Self Care is a necessary action. It is not selfish. Treat yourself right and take some time to reset.
[…] When I see my brothers and sisters suffering, I want to help. Like Nakia, I am constantly faced with the battle of helping others while also trying to protect myself. It’s a delicate balance, trying to help others while still not depleting all my resources. Many times, I have asked myself, how can I still keep it real while still keeping my sanity? Your energy and health, much like vibranium are valuable resources. […]
Girl! You touched on so many things in this post. I don’t think I can address them all. I think that we forget that celebrities are real people sometimes. Imagine being constantly reminded of everything that’s wrong with you, and having to hear and read things comments that come from people who don’t even know you. I’m glad Cardi realized she needed to take a break. That’s basically what I do when I start to feel overwhelmed. I just take a break away from whatever is causing me anxiety. We have to take care of ourselves first. It’s so necessary. I’m happy you came to this realization is well! I’m actually happy that self-care and mental health are trending right now. They should be.
Yes definitely all about the importance of self care and making sure you love yourself and take care of your own mental health!
Thank you for sharing this post and your thoughts. My first call for self care is to take a bath, lower the lights, put on some incense, and try to calm my mind. Whether or not it feels like it helps, it’s always nice to do!
Yikes, I hate that mental health is trendy; I hate that self-care is trendy. The trendiness gives the two notions power to be justifications for certain actions – but that’s another thing altogether. To answer your questions, how I de-stress depends on what I’m stressed about. If it’s work stress, I do what work I have to do and I naturally feel less stressed. If it’s more personal, it differs. Nowadays I’m redefining my stress and self-care practices as my life has changed pretty drastically within the past few months.
This really touched my heart. Self care is so important so we don’t lose it! Thank you for sharing! x
Self-care IS so important. Thanks for bringing to light this topic. You’re so right about the holidays – they tend to stress everyone out. I noticed everyone at work getting super snippy this week, and I couldn’t figure out why until I realized that Thanksgiving is just around the corner and everyone’s super stressed about holiday stuff.
I was never really a Mac Miller music fan but so tragic to hear of his passing this year. I still can’t even imagine how that felt for Ariana!
Self-care is so important and I’m happy that more and more people are prioritizing it. Spending time in nature and with my inner circle our tour of the ways I take care of myself. I’ve never heard the song swimming, I’m going to listen to it.
I currently don’t always do the best job with managing stress but I try to make lists of what I need to do so I can calm my racing thoughts then I take breaks when my body needs it. Thanks for sharing this song! I’ll have to download it 🙂
Such a great post and I relate to so many of your feelings! Totally agree about being alone being a double-edged sword in self-care. Being alone is how I recharge, de-stress and calm my anxiety. However, being alone TOO MUCH can trigger my depression… fun times. It’s always comforting to know other people out there understand. xx
meditation is a huge help for me. i never use drugs or anything to battle my stress so mediatating has help me center myself and get my body ad mind in control.
Self care is so incredibly important! We all need to take that time to reset. I’m also very thankful that sharing about struggling with issues of anxiety and depression has become more open. It should never be something we are ashamed of or afriad to talk about!
it is crazy how if we just stop and truly listen to the lyrics how meaningful they (can) be! i’m happy to hear that these songs have been therapeutic for you. one of the many reasons i love music
Recharging by being alone is a sign of being an introvert! It’s key to know what you need from your actions in order to restore your internal balance. One of my favorite self-care quotes is along the lines of “You can’t pour from an empty cup. You’re not supposed to give what’s in the cup to other people but rather the overflow.” Self-care looks different for everyone but is so necessary!
I agree with the comment about Cardi, it was time for her to have some time to herself. We often look to celebs as not being human beings too. She’s now a first time new mother and self-care is essential on that particular journey while also is good for her music career.
Self-care is so necessary and for a long time I shied away bc society gave me misconstrued thoughts on what it actually meant. I love the attention that mental health is attracting, but it’s so easy for the internet to turn everything into a gimmick once it’s trendy. Just have to continue hoping for the best!
Great post!
Tisha
I withdraw to recalibrate. Sometimes the stimulation from having to “people” is entirely too much for me to stomach. So I literally go off the grid.
Stress relievers for me consists of taking a hot bubble bath, reading an inspiration book or quotes, writing in my journal or coloring. Sometimes I just have to get away and take a long walk by myself. Worse case scenario I reach for some sweets to eat. Here’s to less stress in our lives! Happy Blogging.
Latisha xxx
Sometimes we really do need to just disconnect for a awhile. I feel the same sometimes on social media when I see everyone doing so much while I’m sitting home snuggled up with a blanket lol. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what you need to recharge and refresh!!
I go MIA for like a weekend. No answer to phone calls (unless its my mom), no text, I stay off social media. all of it. I recently did this about 2 wks ago and I enjoyed every min of it.