If there’s one thing I learned over this past year, it’s that I am my own worst enemy. I hate cliché quotes but this year, I just might adopt the mantra New Year, New Me.
Often times when we hear people say, New Year, New Me, it’s with a hint of sass. It’s this idea that they’re going to switch up on everyone out of spite, or frustration. This silly, “I’ll show them what I’m about this year” sort of attitude.
This idea of switching up is guaranteed to fail for one of two reasons. First, we try to change for others, which is never fulfilling. Second, we get in our own way. With this in mind, I plan on making some changes that I hope will stick, not for anyone else but myself.
This past year came with a lot of challenges. Many of which, I created for myself. Though it can be good to challenge and push yourself, I pushed myself right over the edge and spiraled out of control more than once.
I started the year off strong and decided to take classes part-time while working full time. Then when I conquered that challenge, I started looking for a new job. When I realized I was better off staying where I was, I was calm for all of 30 seconds. But then, I spent the rest of the summer traveling to stay out of my office.
When I finished my jaunt around the globe, September arrived and I was drained. My summer flew by and while I enjoyed many parts of it, I didn’t prepare myself for another big goal: applying to graduate school.
To up my “Booked and Busy” status, I decided yet again to take a college course while working full time, while also studying for the GRE, while also applying to graduate schools. By the end of September, I was burnt out. I was going to bed at 2 A.M. and waking up at 6 A.M. to get everything done. My mantra for most of the second half of the year was, “There aren’t enough hours in the day…”.
October to December was a huge blur. There were bouts of uncontrollable crying and an overwhelming feeling of “Why am I doing this to myself?“ With the help of family and friends I realized, I was the cause of almost all of the stress I was dealing with.
By December, I was ready to take a break and I promised myself, I would never push myself that much again.
In talking with others about my stress I realized how my constant desire to do the most was hurting me. Over time, it became normal to take on a lot and fill every second of my day. Now after many years, it has taken a toll. I reached a breaking point.
The best way to sum up my behavior is this: You have 100% to give and you can divide your time rationally. Instead of dividing my time equally, I tried to give everything 99% and told myself, I still had more energy, time, etc. to give. Whenever I’d add that extra 1%, I’d crack. It’s not healthy to constantly operate at 99% let alone 100%.
So now I’ve reached a turning point. A
This year, and every year moving forward, I’m doing NOTHING. When I say NOTHING, I MEAN NOTHING.
Even with all of the accomplishments I had last year, there are still so many things I have to give attention to at some point this year. So to prepare me for those moments, instead of filling my time with other things to stress and worry about unnecessarily, I’m committing more time to myself.
I haven’t been all that great to myself this past year, I’ve overworked, I’ve overcommitted, and I’ve overextended my energy, and for what? If there’s anything I proved to myself it was that, yes, I am human and if I take on too much I will burn out, get tired, stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed.
So this year, I’m working on being a better me, and most importantly, being better to myself. I encourage you all to do the same.
When writing this post I wavered on saying “Be Your Best You” or “Be a Better You”. The pragmatist in me realized you can’t be your best. It’s not possible. And not everyone deserves your best. So for that reason, if only for yourself, commit to being at least a better version of yourself for you.
Whether that’s saying NO more like me, or it’s finally resolving to eat healthier foods or finally taking that trip you’ve always wanted to take but you could never find someone to go with. Stop worrying about others, and start focusing on you. You are the sole determiner of your own success and failures so get going and be a better you.
I totally need to stop worrying about everyone else and focus more on myself this year. Last year was full of that for me! Thanks for sharing babe 🙂
-xo, Azanique
This is totally me! I had to learn how to take breaks because stress literally breaks me down physically. I’m trying to work hard to give myself more breaks and use my time more wisely. Thank you for reminding me of how important I am for myself!
This post was everything. I’m being more intentional about being my best me this year and so far it’s been great. My biggest struggle has been sticking to my guns about what I will and will not allow. I’ve definitely noticed a difference and I cannot wait to see how it continues to progress — even beyond this year.
This post was everything. I’m being more intentional about being my best me this year and so far it’s been great. My biggest struggle has been sticking to my guns about what I will and will not allow. I’ve definitely noticed a difference and I cannot wait to see how it continues to progress.
Great article! This year I said I’m doing more for me…meaning taking better care of me and not procrastinating on my health. Taking breaks when it gets overwhelming because it’s okay to do so.
Love this post. Everyone wants to hustle and stay booked and busy. Self care is the most important tool in our arsenal to achieve our goals. Thanks for sharing.
Omg definitely try to slow it down and ask for help! I’m good for doing it all but I have committed myself to do nothing every Thursday evening. You need to try to find that cycle. I hope you the best in balance in 2019!
Taking breaks to recharge is so important! Glad December was restful for you 🙂 Here’s to an exciting new year!
Wow this post really hits home for me! I always tend to put so much on my plate and end up struggling. I definitely think focusing on “a better version of yourself” is more attainable than changing yourself completely.
Very realistic goal setting!
Sooo important! I need to think more about myself and what I want. That’s something I learned early last year. I wanted my parents happy and I was sacrificing my happiness. Good thing I realized that!
The older I get the more I care less about how others feel about my choices, especially when their negativity is their opinion. if I’m making myself happy, and I’m not hurting anyone in the process. I’m good!
Love this! It’s so important to slow down, say no, and take care of ourselves!
I agree with this post! Saying No is something I want to do not of this year, thanks so much for sharing! x
OMG, I don’t think I’ve related so much to a blog post before. This was all truly me! This year I relaunched my college and lifestyle blog, which I hope to focus more on and actually create a game plan for my website. That way I can stay committed and not get in the way of my greatness!
-xo, Makaela
I’m so happy for you. Welcome back to the blogging community!
I want to work on being a better me this year. We really are our own worst critics
I agree with everything you said in this blog post I didn’t have a lot of the major accomplishments you had in 2018 but I did get married and started an Etsy shop. Anyway one of my major issues is getting in my own way so I appreciate the advice you offered. I think it applies to everyone if they really think about it for a second. Thanks for sharing!
getting married is a huge accomplishment that requires a lot of work. congratulations!