Curlfriends: Amanda and Madisen

Previously, I shared my natural hair journey. My Curlfriends Danielle, Deja, Devon, and Tiylaa all shared their stories over the past few weeks as well.

Meet two more of my gal pals Amanda and Madisen and read about their journeys below. Whether you’re still on the fence about committing to the lifestyle, just big chopped, or have been natural for years, I hope their journeys will encourage you as you navigate your own.

Amanda

What is your hair type?

3A. I’d like to think 3B but from years of relaxer, it’s probably more 2C-3A. Maybe even 2C on top and 3A underneath.

How long have you been au natural and what was the process like? Have you always been natural? Did you do a big chop?

I’ve only been completely natural for about eight months. I used to leave my hair curly for only a couple of weeks at a time before that. But going natural more often was a New Year’s Resolution. When I decided to cut the relaxer, I made a slower transition by switching to texturizer, the milder of the non-natural family. I liked it because it helped me learn how to style my hair in different ways that weren’t just using a flat-iron. It only took me a couple of times to realize that I wanted my curls back and I wanted them back fully. So I quit cold-turkey. I washed my hair with lots of conditioners, let it air dry, and my curls were back, at least somewhat. I am still in the early stages of my curl-journey but I definitely am living the big-hair don’t care life while not chemically treating my hair.

What was your biggest motivation for going natural?

One of my (many) New Year’s Resolutions for 2018 was to go natural because I was motivated by my friends (and probably subconsciously convinced by celebrities) that my curls were, in fact, beautiful. When I was young, I had a big-curled afro. My mom would cut it to maintain it because it was more of a nuisance and more subject of criticism than compliment so I grew up resenting my curls. No one around me had hair as big as me and certainly not as curly. Mix that with brown skin and you are a prime target for look-based bullying on a middle school playground. So I begged my mom for a relaxer and that’s what I did for 10 years. College was definitely a time for soul-searching and identity finding and luckily, I found a diverse group of friends who encouraged me every day to be unapologetically me. I took that spirit and ran with it and this year it finally caught up with my hair.

What is your go-to hair product?

Leave-in conditioner. I love to swim. In pools, lakes, oceans, fresh-water, salt-water, I love it. But my hair doesn’t always. Not only is leave-in conditioner great to saturate my hair with moisture after a shower but it is also great to run in my hair right after swimming as something to pass the time before a good wash.

What does your typical hair care routine look like?

I wash it once a week with just conditioner. Every other week and after swimming I wash it with shampoo and conditioner. After that I lather up with leave-in conditioner and a cream to help with frizz. On the daily, water is my friend. I’ll spritz my hair with water and define my curls to keep them in shape with a curl cream.

What’s the one natural hair myth you have debunked?

“It must be so much easier to take care of.” Absolutely not. This is definitely an experimental journey. Constantly trying new products, while making sure your well moisturized, and your hair is clean but styled well, it’s all so much more work and it boggles my mind how people think I just woke up like this.

What is your one natural hair pet peeve?

Lack of moisture for sure. I feel like I put so much stuff in my hair for the purpose of keeping it soft and moisturized but after a couple of days it’s back to being dry and tangled.

Parting words…

For such a long time I felt like my natural hair was a curse. People picked on me for it. People say that it is crazy and unprofessional. But what I have learned from this journey is that no matter what they say or think this is who I am and I’m pretty awesome and so is my hair. My time on this journey has definitely been short but I love learning and trying new things with my hair. It can be straight, curly, braided, in a bun, it can be so many things and it’s incredibly inspiring to see this series of diverse experiences come together and redefine what is beautiful.

Madisen

What is your hair type?

3C mixed with some 4A

How long have you been au natural and what was the process like? 

I’ve been natural for four months now. I started transitioning to natural hair in December 2016. I was tired of getting relaxers and my hair was more damaged than ever. I did my research on transitioning and I started to take care of my own hair. I transitioned for one year and four months before doing my big chop in April 2018.

What was your biggest motivation for going natural?

My biggest motivation for going natural was wanting healthy hair. I knew my relaxed hair would never revert back to being healthy. It was overprocessed from all of the colors I dyed my hair and the constant use of relaxers and heat. I loved watching women embrace their natural hair and I wanted to rock that same confidence with mine. I never had the chance to play with my natural hair when I was younger because my mom always straightened it. I eventually got a relaxer at 10 years old because I was constantly being picked on in school for having “nappy” hair. So I was ready to see how my natural hair really looked. I wanted to know how curly it would get!

Was there anyone who helped inspire your natural hair journey?

One of my friends helped me to make the decision to go natural. She gave me advice and helped me to start my journey off the right way. She had me start off with the Shea Moisture line and told me everything to purchase. I also found inspiration from watching YouTube videos. I loved watching Naptural85, Amina Marie, and Mahogany Curls. Their hair is so beautiful and I wanted mine to be the same way.

What is your go-to hair product?

My go-to hair products would have to be Flaxseed Gel and my Ayurvedic oil mix I purchase from a curl friend. Flaxseed gel has given me the best wash and gos and the Ayurvedic oil has eliminated my scalp issues. I no longer deal with an itchy scalp or dandruff like I did before using this oil. My favorite tool would have to be the Felicia Leatherwood Detangler Brush. It’s way better than a Denman Brush in my opinion and it makes detangling so much easier!

What does your typical hair care routine look like?

I pre-poo before wash day with my choice of oils and conditioner. I wash my hair every week with either a clay wash or a shampoo bar. I always deep condition every wash day and add extra ingredients to boost the moisture. I do the LOC method when styling my hair. The most important thing I do in my hair routine is wear a satin bonnet every night for bed. It has done an amazing job at keeping my styles fresh and moisturized.

What is your favorite protective style? 

My favorite protective style would have to be twists. It’s an easy and quick style to do and prevents my hair from tangling up like it does with a wash & go. I did wear braids while transitioning and I loved taking a break from doing my hair. I would get braids again but I would take extra caution since I’m fully natural now. I don’t want anything done to my hair that can potentially damage it (blow drying, tight braids, etc.) I’m just enjoying the journey right now!

What is the worst piece of advice someone gave you when going natural?

The worst advice would have to be: “Don’t style on soaking wet hair or your product won’t go on your hair correctly” Haha, I had to throw that advice to the side real quick when I wasn’t retaining moisture! I know everyone’s hair likes/dislikes certain things, but my hair needs to be soaking wet when I style for the best results!

What is the best piece of advice someone gave you about hair?

The best piece of advice I received was to not compare my hair or my journey to anyone else. When I was transitioning I always compared someone else’s new growth to mine. I often wondered “Why is my new growth wavy and hers is curly?” and it always led to me feeling discouraged. When I finally figured out I need to focus on my own hair I started to feel more motivated to reach my OWN hair goals. I had to realize my journey is unique and my hair won’t be like someone else’s. I needed to embrace each stage of my journey and continue to be patient and consistent.

The one natural hair myth you have debunked?

“Natural hair is hard to manage”. When I first read about this, I was scared. Did I really want to start fooling around with natural hair versus my relaxer? As I continued on my journey I found that natural hair isn’t hard to manage at all. It’s all about trial and error. You have to find what works for you and what your hair likes/dislikes. Once you figure that out, everything will come together and flow easier. I love doing my natural hair, I can’t imagine it any other way.

What is your one natural hair pet peeve?

I would say my biggest pet peeve would have to be the amount of shrinkage I have. Yes, I know shrinkage means healthy hair, but come on lol! I love seeing my wash & go’s when they are wet and I love feeling the hair on my neck. As soon as it dries, that length goes right out the window. I’m trying my best to learn how to embrace it but it’s hard! I know as long as I continue to take care of my hair, the length will come eventually.

Parting words…

Just do it. If you want to embrace your natural hair, don’t worry about what society thinks about it. Everyone has their own opinion about what you decide to do with your hair, but it’s YOURS and you need to choose what is best for YOU. Make sure if you do decide to go natural, you’re doing it for the right reasons. Don’t hop on just because it seems like a trend; do it because you want a change. Do it because you want to embrace what you were born with! You got this!

You can read more about Maidsen on her blog www.melaninskinandcurls.com